People-pleasing or people-smart?

I started thinking about this when my classmates and I were talking about the process of negotiation in the humanitarian action field (I'm currently studying this), and when I was sharing that I'm not sure if I'd be a good negotiator because I am a bit nervous that I'd agree to things too fast during the negotiation, and one of the classmates said that that's people pleasing in me. I then asked her to clarify what she meant by that, and she said, it's because you do things so people like you, which I guess is needed when we all need to negotiate for a deal. I then asked her some more, because I don't like being associated with the adjective "people pleasing", and it seems that we have a different definition of people pleasing.

To her, people pleasing is when you do something when it's not asked, as in you just offer to do it yourself, while for me, if I can make life easier for others without too much work and if it is convenient for me to do it, I'd do it. If it's not convenient for me or if I need to get out of my way to do it, I don't do it.

But then she raised a great point that I'm usually tired and I don't know why, and she said that it could be because I keep on doing things for others without realizing it, and it takes energy and time out of me.

As I get older (and hopefully wiser) I am now a bit quicker at identifying who is taking advantage of me because I do the above, and who is genuinely kind to me. That usually leads me to isolate myself often, because there are a lot of people who are only kind to me when they need me, and the moment I realize that, it's adios from me. I hope to become people smart, and not people pleasing. I am not here to please anybody.