Guilt trip

#CulturalHabit? #IntergenerationalHabit?

I recently was in a situation where I felt guilt trip into agreeing to something I did not want to do, which I think has often happened in my life.

As a younger person, I feel that I should follow the elders when they say I should do something because they have lived longer and know better... This statement is true to some extent because they have more lived experience in life, have maybe faced a lot more challenges and learned a lot, and could provide some great insights to help with some decision-making processes, but not all...

I want to continue being respectful to people, and everyone, while still standing my ground. I did just that today, and I know I should be proud, but I feel two things: 1). A bit bad that I didn't just agree to do what I was told, and 2). Braver that I stood up for myself.

I also noticed that the person I disagreed with made me feel like I made a wrong decision by not doing what they advised. They usually continued to say that I won't be able to reach the goal that I wanted to because I was not doing it their way.

(It usually goes fine. I think it's smart to consider those scares just as data points and make sure I am ready to face whatever comes with that decision.)

This also happened before when I discussed something with somebody and I didn't agree with their thoughts, they would say something like: "You'll regret it." or "That won't go well.".

I fully respect these people, and that's why I listen to them sometimes, usually making sure that my reaction/response aligns with what I think they want me to do.

People-pleasing, maybe. But recently, I have been a bit more straightforward and say: "I don't want to do it", and their reactions get defensive.

It felt quite powerful to say - "I don't want to do it". I like it. I might do it a bit more. :)