A foreigner in a developing country

#notStereotyping #justPointingOutThisOnePerson

A disclaimer:

• I am not referring to all foreigners in a developing country. I have met a few kind-hearted white foreigners who are friends to me now too. This post is about one rude white foreigner on a plane.

This occasion happened in August 2023. It's been a few months, and it's still bugging me, so I thought I should write about it.

It was during my flight back home from Bangkok to Phnom Penh. I booked a window seat on this flight. I got to the seat and saw a big white male in the middle seat. I said something like: "My seat is the window seat. Excuse me as I get to my seat."

This guy then looked to a lady in the row nearby, and she started saying: "could we switch seats?". At that time, I didn't hear her correctly, maybe I was tired, and I might have said something like: "What?".

This guy then just screamed: "She is my wife!".

I then just said: "Oh ok".

It was also because I was switching to the same kind of seat - I'd still have the window seat.

But I was furious the moment he screamed at me as if I couldn't hear him, or in a way, projecting that he was bigger and more manly, and if I didn't switch the seat with his wife, I'd be in trouble or something. I don't like it when people raise their voices at me.

Foreign men, or many men in general, do that a lot.

I wanted to say something back to him. A lot of things. But at that time, I wasn't energetic enough to have a debate while people were waiting to get to their seats. I couldn't wait to be home...

He could have asked politely. I wonder why he felt the need to scream at a tiny Southeast Asian lady like me to get what he wanted. I wonder if he is used to doing that to get what he wants. I don't like that this foreign man thinks that he can get away with anything with this. It bothers me a lot.

I then started feeling bad for this lady who is his wife. I cannot imagine what she is going through. But maybe I'm just overthinking. Maybe she is living her life well.

Travelling solo and appearing young sometimes come with this kind of thing. I saw a few articles about it too. People keep on asking us to change seats for them so they get to sit together.

Another occasion was during a long flight from Singapore to Copenhagen on my way to Sweden to start my Master's degree. I got a window seat, and this couple asked if I could change to their middle seat, so they could sit together. I politely said NO. :) It felt good.

I mean I felt a bit bad, because the guy who wanted to change seats with me is a lot bigger than me, and he got the middle seat, so it might be uncomfortable. But I also don't want to have middle seats on a long flight either, if I have a choice. I booked my seat, so I am not obligated to switch seats if it is not comfortable for me.